"MOSLEM GENERAL MA DETESTS REDS, LOVES ICE CREAM" [RoC-Ahsa]

[Cataphrak]

General Ma Hongkui stepped off the plane in Riyadh with two directives.

The first was to establish contact with the Ahsa Confederation and hammer out formal trade and diplomatic ties, something that was doubly important now that the rebel scum in Zhejiang were attacking civilian shipping.

Frankly, Ma Hongkui wasn't so sure why Guangzhou was treating their current enemies so gently. Anyone who attacked free trade was a communist bandit, pure and simple. When Ma Hongkui had taken over Qinghai when he was still a young man, his policy regarding such unclean swine were clear and simple: behead the bandits. Behead their families. Behead anyone who tried to defend them.

Qinghai didn't have a communist problem for long after that.

But the Republic had its own ways of doing things, even when Jiang Jieshi had been in charge. Nowadays, it was all paperwork and articles of law and matters of "international opinion". Ridiculous, but he'd volunteered for the position. Retirement wasn't agreeing with him as much as he'd hoped.

Still, that was only his first directive. His second was more personal, and more pressing.

Ma Hongkui settled into the back seat of the diplomatic car which had been left for him. "Driver?"

"Yes, General?"

"You know the way to the meeting?"

"Yes, General. Shall I take you there now?"

"Not yet," Ma Hongkui replied, glancing at his watch. "We still have half an hour left. Let's get some ice cream first."

[Joe Biden]

The Tahlia Creamery, just a few blocks away from the White House, was not an easy place to get into. The shop had already been something of a local favorite in Riyadh, widely recognized as the city's best spot for ice cream, but a photo-op by the wildly popular president there a couple of years before had sent that reputation skyrocketing into national fame. Now, anybody visiting Riyadh-- whether for business or for pleasure-- considered it very nearly an obligation to stop by Tahlia, even while the shop retained its charming but thoroughly inadequate hole-in-the-wall venue. Consequently, the lines had a bad habit of going right out the door and wrapping around the block.

Fortunately for Ma Hongkui, Tahlia was perfectly willing to make an exception for a foreign dignitary. As something of a hot spot for politicians and state figures since the president's visit, they were, after all, no strangers to high profile customers. Ma Hongkui found himself spirited up to the front of the line in seconds. Not long after, he was back on his way to the White House with a few scoops of Riyadh's finest ice cream in his choice of cup or cone.

Upon arrival at the White House, an attendant escorted him to the office of the president's chief of staff, a tall, wiry man with a horseshoe mustache to put Hulk Hogan to shame. With a pleasant smile and an outstretched hand, the man said, "Welcome to Ahsa, General Ma. My name is Chief al-Ahdal." He declined to provide a first name, because he was a minor character who was unlikely to appear outside of this thread.

[Cataphrak]

General Ma shook the Ahsa chief of staff's hand with a fleshy hand of his own, even as the other still held a half-full bowl of strawberry ice cream. "General Ma Hongkui, a pleasure."

The general paused to spoon a bit more ice cream in his mouth. The stuff was really good, certainly better than anything he could get in Qinghai or Ningxia, even before the quarantine. Maybe it was milk? It was usually the milk.

"First of all, those pencil-necks in Guangzhou sent me over to apologise for any shipping trouble," Ma continued. "Those Zhejiang bandits, they aren't dying fast enough, that's all. We're willing to offer you the same deal as we've offered the Koreans. If we capture anyone who's inflicted damages on your trade, we're willing to hand them over so you can take them to court for damages-"

He shrugged, hardly a minor movement. Even at 67, his shoulders were still round and beefy.

"-Or just cut their heads off. That's what I'd do. Less paperwork that way."

[Joe Biden]

"I think we can do a little better than take them to court for damages," al-Ahdal said. "The president, with your approval, is willing to dispatch troops to assist in the subjugation of these rebel elements in Zhejiang. Any threat to the security of global markets is a threat we're not willing to tolerate, after all. Say the word and we'll help see to it they're not a thorn in your side for much longer."

[Cataphrak]

General Ma chuckled, in between the Victorians, and the RoCAF in the air and the Korean Navy at sea, he doubted there'd be much room for anyone else - even if the likes of the Inferno Queen had left anything left to kick over once she was done.

"Don't worry about that," Ma Hongkui replied, "I don't think you'll need to bring anything too heavy to deal with what's left of those bandits in Taiwan before long... except maybe some marshmallows."

[Joe Biden]

Restraining the urge to grumble about how Ahsa was always missing out on the good stuff, the chief instead said, "Glad the situation's being dealt with. In that case, I'm happy to see to the establishment of a Chinese embassy here in Riyadh. Was there anything else you wanted to discuss?"